Mean Gays

I know lots of people wonder why I don't date or have more black male friends. I swear it's not on purpose. Even a white male friend of mines gets on my case about it. Most people that know me, know I'm equal opportunity. I don't have on my profiles white only or no asians. I don't do things like that! I believe it's wrong! What I don't like is attitude! The majority of my life I've been teased. Throughout elementary school I was chased home from school. In middle school people threw stuff at me and called me gay before I even knew what it was. By high school, I looked scary enough that no one bothered me or didn't for long. 

But when I got in my twenties, I was living in my old apartment and had a job doing HIV/AIDS prevention for the black gay community. And, there was this gay who got hired after me. He was recently discharged from the Army and was from Georgia. For some reason he choose me to pick on out of all the people that worked there. Everyday he picked and he picked while I did nothing. So I finally started to stand up for myself but he still felt he had the upper hand and continued. Then one day he tried it again and tried to touch me. So I lost my mind, I pin him in the corner in front of the whole office and said, "If you want to fight, we can do this". I'd had enough! I couldn't stand it anymore. 

The next time this happened, I was abroad and a boy did it again. He was black, American and from Georgia. He kept picking in his own way from the first time that I met him. I didn't pin him in a corner; my friends saved me from that. Plus, there was another black guy there, he wasn't from America but we got along great. And, I'm not the kind of boy to pick on people. And, my issue with dating black men has nothing to do with me being friends with them. And, recently, I've been tested again. I'm not going to fight but on my own accord, I will not take beaten after beating everyday especially where I live and sleep. 

Repercussions may come my way but I don't expect my friends to bail me out. I've done what I've done on my own. And, I'm not sorry about it! However, I will say that I'm sorry if anyone else gets hurt in the process. I know these kind of people; they will hurt anything you have or love, just to get back at you. They are easy to offend and when they have some power behind them, they just take everything they do out proportion. And, this attitude is not so uncommon with with people in my community especially with black gay men. I don't care if your older, how much money or power you have. I'm going to let you have so much space and let you get away with it for so long before I get pissed off. 

I'm not entirely sure why I'm explaining myself but I guess it always boils down to race. I'm not racist....I'm an attitude-ist. In high school, I was a bitchy queen for a while until I learned that, that's not going to get you too far in the real world. Plus, My mother didn't raise me or my brother that way because no one in my family is that way. And, yeah, my brother and I fight but we're not bitchy queens to each other all day. We joke but we know when a joke is a joke. That's just the way we are; my whole family and I. So I don't know what's next but I face it with full responsibility; do what you want to me and my body but leave other people out of it. I'm doing you a favor!