Assurance Insurance

There is one thing that I always write about and you will be reading about it again today. What I want to talk about is the assurance of others. So here it goes…

In my life, I have been talked about. Definitely talked about more than most. It was never really a problem because even just a few years ago, I could walk away or distance myself from whatever drama that was going on. And, I could come home and rest assured that my family would love me without bias. They would have enough faith in my decisions and know who I am to them. 

These days I can’t get far without the popular version of who I am and what my life has been like following me. And, thats not really good because on a spiritual level, human beings need the space to evolve into something more. They need the space to grow internally. And, on a natural level, having a reputation follow you is going to ruin you socially. Instead of people, deciding who you are for themselves, they will take the popular opinions of popular or sacred people and believe it. In some cases this is fine but whether the stories are true or not, its’ hard to live, change or grow under those circumstances. 

Anyway, what brought this topic to mind is this….All the time (not just today) people are saying things to me like “Oh, this person is good”, “This person is with me” and even sometimes, “I own this person”. And, you know what, I believe those things. I’ve no doubt that this person is good but I also have no doubt that any person is capable of something more or worse. As for the other two statements, I just resent those words. Even if its true, maybe because I am the great grand son of slaves or because I am American and there is an amendment in the Constitution, I just resent the idea of anybody owning another person. 

A lot of times, the idea that comes to mind that somewhere along the line, my family and my friends started to see that I was something more or different than just their family member. At some point, they took popular opinion over me. I wonder when did I become this thing to be appeased, watched and cautious with. When did I become the person that would hurt his family. The funny thing is none of them ever watched themselves like I had to watch them. They all have evolved into people that I actually have to watch or be extremely cautious with. And, its not because they are mean people but some of them can be. There are several reasons why I have to but I think today its because they don’t always know everything. In their existence, time and time again, I have seen them almost make fools of themselves because they only knew a portion of the story. 

I’ve watched so many people I know walk in the assurance of word of mouth. It’s the assurance of things that remain unseen. And, in many ways, watching this I feel for people who act or do things that they normally wouldn’t do if they knew everything. And, if you get anything from this blog post, don’t let it be juice about my family or friends, I want you to understand two or three things….1. Sometimes you have to forgive people and let things go because they know not what they are doing. 2. Secondly, before you go half cocked in revenge, you have got to educate (although trying to tell someone who is convinced of one thing is impossible). And, Lastly, just be prepared….no matter what you do or say some people aren’t going to believe you. 

If any of you have figured it out, I’m all about freedom and letting people do as they please (as long as they don’t hurt anybody else). It’s hard to live this way when you have one side that I should belong and support no matter what. Then another side that loves me and supports me even when I am being stupid or crazy. And, you see the side that you belong to taking shots at the other side and at me (sometimes just to get the other side). All of which I think is awful not because I am loved there but because in most cases it is just wrong or unprovoked. Then they get protection for doing it and defended by people who don’t even know what the fighter actually did, And, then to see people just trying to protect themselves and frowned upon for it is just mind blowing. Like I would really like to understand how the world works these days.