Seeing all of the old stuff reminded me of a better me versus better days. When I would prepare to go out in public, I didn't think about other people like I do now. Back then I would think about, do I look and feel sexy in this. Now when I put on clothes, all I need to know is if it's clean and does it match. Depending on where I am going, will let me know how important matching is.
In my mind, there is too much of other people. Yeah, there are too many people pushing up in my life but that's not as important as other people always being on your mind. What other people think, is none of my business and is not necessarily true. But, I still think of them. I still wonder about them.
And, I recognize that, that is a horrible flaw in me. But, if it wasn't for other people always having the power to affect your life, I wouldn't care. It's always tit for tat in my life. If I do something that something that affects one person then that person has to come along and do something to affect me. We're always trying to teach each other lessons.
So the days go by and when things go wrong or differently, I wonder, what did I do wrong now? What am I paying for now? Most times I fail to see the lesson. I fail to see how anything that's happening is going to help anything. In most cases, I've offended because some wrong was done to me or I was protecting myself. So when retribution comes around then and there l feel like; well you've done this for your satisfaction. You've done this for a laugh or to make me feel bad. And, that is sinister.
Why are people this way? I don't know about you guys but I don't have much. And, I find people who have a lot or more than you, can easily do things to you without a second thought. Even if there is a second thought, I know that these people can move on a lot easier because they have so much. In this, I can easily find a lesson. And, my prayer and my wish is that no matter what happens as the days go by, I just want to be conscious, humble and considerate.
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