Stampede

Its interesting to see the satisfaction that comes from revenge. This week I had to make that decision that I always have to make; the choice between this person and that person. No hardly ever recognizes the position that they put me in when they go dirt. Its like its assumed that I am suppose to agree with what they are doing or something. And, it’s not about choosing people; it’s really not that deep. 

In most cases, it’s always someone trying to get back at some one for something that they did wrong in the first place. If thats not the case, then its always about acquiring. And, both of those situations are wack. You’d rather give someone a life and a struggle just like yours, in the hopes that you can get out of your struggle. 

Sometimes things just come out of no where. For example, hypothetically, I could tell Sam that Bob has a crush on Billy. And, then come to find out they are secretly dating. But, Sam is dating Billy and I had no idea. Now a world of trouble is raised and every body has pulled out their daggers. And, Sam is pissed at me.There is nothing that you can really do about that. Yeah, I could apologize or say that I am sorry but that is really not going to do much. 

If your living in a world where you thought there was peace and that everyone is operating on the level, then you wouldn’t have problems like this. But, I don’t live in a world like that, everybody is always up to something. And, one thing always leads to something even bigger happening. We hold on to things! I’ve become that way now since I moved where I am. And, it is probably the thing that I hate the most about where I live. 

The folly of living like this is, when you give power or energy to something, feed that same notion to other people then that momentum keeps up. It’s like an argument between drunk people, it just escalates and continues. You have to have a cut off switch or have a line drawn. For example, there is person x, who is not liked by person y. X pays Y no mind. But, Y is so preoccupied with his feelings for X that his feelings that he starts to take things too far. 

Thoughts and feelings of revenge does things to you. I know people as sweet and innocent as a rainbow but piss them off then see hell fire come down. I’ve seen bright eyes turn into black holes. And, more than whatever action, that’s what scares me. To see someone changing inside and becoming the essence of this new emotion. Becoming stronger, even more comfortable and more capable in this darkness. Thats what’s so scary!

In closing, the last thing I want to say and that I always say is, “Folks tell on themselves”. Mention certain topics and things like that. Say certain things. And, watch folks change on you or start running. There have been so many times where I was just talking to someone, bring up a certain topic and watch them just change or see a stampede of people fleeing. I’m tired of living like this. Some of you guys just don’t understand.