Timeline

Sometimes I don't have all the answers. I just don't have all the information. But, anytime I get lost I always do one or two things. The first thing I do, is cross reference between my blog posts. Then I try to remember everything that I didn't write about those posts. Where was I running during that time. Remember those encounters. The second part  is the easy part. 

The hard part is reliving the past because these days the past tends to come back alive. And, in most cases, if something is in my past and not in my present then it's for a reason. 

There is a particular section of time that comes to mind now. It's a time that belongs to a friend. Now I'm on good terms with this friend maybe even on excellent terms. But, I feel the energy shift between us; I felt it a long time ago. I felt something different in him. And, I look at that window of time and I'm starting to see that there was a collaboration which would explain maybe why another local friend recently shut me out so abruptly. If Im wrong then this is really bad but if I'm right then things are even worse then I thought. And, I'm running through the time line trying to connect all of the dots........Working at Loyola Marymount University-discovered running area on my  own. Paul. Nicholas. Running area. New people buy house where I park my car. Changes in area. Go to Berlin. Come home- Tim and Irish people. Money. David-day I bought ticket to Copenhagen. House across the street from where I park my car is bought. New parking spot but something of the few blocks screams of Wes. 

I'm starting to see that the only way, I'm going to answers is either with help or to turn my life in an old direction. But, if things are as bad as I think they might be. That means that there are more wolves in sheep clothing then I thought. And, there is only so much that I can do especially if certain people won't talk to me, won't see me or I can't see them.  

And, I hate to put things out there that I can't verify or confirm. I don't like to do it because it only further creates the myth or verifies the illusion that I'm totally crazy and/or stupid. Plus, there is one important thing to remember especially if you don't have fantastic vision or knowledge. The rumor is that there are other factions out there that are operating under deep cover. If that's true, who they might be and if they are succeeding....I don't know. So it's hard to sometimes know whose your friend and you risk a lot bothering some people. One thing I know for sure, is that there are three different people I need to talk to but I can't get to any of them. I could use a referee in my life, the way my relationships get destroyed. I just need a whole team of people to come. Fix my life! 

I feel like I might go through a similar situation with another friend. Something said to me, on the day I came home from seeing him, "don't get his address, if you get his address that is how it will happen". And, I talked with my friend and said to him, "Now before you give me your address, I really want you to think about this". He insisted and I really couldn't protest, he seemed to have everything under control. But, I look at where we are now and where that address has been. Hmmm!