Calling All Battleships...

Recently I said that the tide can change at any point in time. And, you can feel the tide changing. Everyone is getting hyped, the energy is different and the sarcasm level is going up. I'm not afraid because I expect a number of bad things to happen. And, I just can't wait for them to just happen, so some of us can feel better about ourselves or more secure. So some of us can feel their control and like their winning (in a game that's produced nothing but losers. So some of us can be a little more angry and so the tide can change all over again. 

Some people think I'm brave, some think I'm stupid and something I'm pretty smart. What can I say, I am human, I'm a little bit of everything. But, there are two things that happen in my life that made me be the way that I am. When I was 13 or 14, for my birthday my Mom promised to get me a Nintendo Gameboy color. It was a special edition Pokemon Gameboy pack. So did it even though we were homeless. And, a friend of the family said to me while I was alone with her, "this is all your fault, your the reason why you guys are homeless". And, I felt the guilt. And, hear I am in this situation now and it feels just like I am the little boy again. I feel like all of sudden, it's my fault that life has turned into this and spilled into others. 

I hate it and that's a heavy mental battle to fight. It's something that I have to think rationally and easily about it. It takes me to a dark place. And, I've got to keep going. I've got to keep moving along. ; can't sit in depression and sickness. The inactivity is only going to make you feel worst. 

So good luck to all of us. I'm calling all my mental battleships to keep me from falling down so low. I know there will best some hard tests and keeping the drama to a minimum. Fingers crossed!