A Stranger!

Ugh, I hate crying! I haven’t cried in a while and if I am crying, it is for a damn good reason. Maybe it’s because I am a virgo but I look at things differently….I look at details and what things represent. A lot of times people don’t look at things that way. They look at everything for face value; they look at things like its a business. And, there is a time and place for that. But, when it comes to dealing with people, it requires a human touch and not just for people that you like. 

Now after yesterday’s blog, most folks might think me a hater. And, I get tired of stupid people who don’t actually read this blog or actually know me. I want the best for all of my friends, I want them to have and be everything that they want to be. If there is one thing I don't want them to have or to lose is the ability to be the person who I know. That person is created beautifully and I am in love with that person. 

Now I am looking at all the people that I know and have known; I loved so much. I wonder when did they stop seeing who I am. When did they start looking for things about me, from people who don’t actually know me. You can’t know someone who your conditioned to dislike and its your job to do them wrong. If you actually liked the person that your charged to have these duties with then you wouldn't do your job that well. 

Anyway, I wonder when those friends started working me, for their own benefit. I wonder when they started telling my secrets. I wonder when they got so crazy as to fight people who are trying to help them. I wonder when they started seeing me as some one to handle and maneuver like I am some kid and not the person who would give anything. I wonder when the pressure got so hard that they could resist. 

I wonder when their captors became their friends. Like yesterday, the way the beat me, teased me and taunted me, there is no question as to who you belong to. Yeah, it’s nice that your protected but when have you ever needed protection from me. I wonder when we couldn’t work our own problems out. What I wrote yesterday was not an attempt to get what is yours. What I wrote was to show the inequality. The favoritism and hypocrisy! The things that made us even closer. 

And, it wasn’t just to piss some people off. Sometimes your enemies even need to learn a thing or two. As we all know, the devil, did and does go to church. So I know that people who don’t like me, will read this blog as well. So they know the truth as well as you do. And, I am hurt because I expected more which is wrong because your human. I never worried or doubted you because I thought we were family. Maybe that was the jinx as everyone knows I don’t get along well with family. I loved you too much and that was the straw that broke the camels back. But, what hurts the most is that your becoming like everybody else. A stranger!