When it comes to this life, when it to this much pain...I know that I've said something true. If it wasn't true, you would have counted against my character and IQ.
It's like the pain I feel is bittersweet and all because I know the truth. I want to count it to my IQ. But, sad because this isn't all just a dream or coma I'm having. This is my real life. I'm not watching a bad movie. This is me living. It's a heartbreaking realization.
But, what can you do! Nothing but to keep trying. Running back to the little bit of life you had. You realize that even though it was little, it was sweet. Now you get more drama when your trying to not have drama. And, you guys just would not get it or maybe you would. But, to have intense and delicate relationships mixed into all your relationships. And, to constantly have to have these intense and delicate situations going through your head and rest of your body. I mean a real mental problem. Then to travel the world in a day. How am I still alive. But, I try to get on with a happy smile and pick my arse up. And, it works!
I've got pick myself up off the ground. I've got do something. It all brings me back to love and I feel purpose in life and space to be normal. And, even though I get worn out like now. In many many ways, sometimes it feels so great to be me. Not because of some weird drama. But because I like who I am. I like who I talk to. And, grateful for the lessons I've learning. Maybe a little angry about the people I've lost.
I'm not sure about the future at this point. The climate is changing. Even Im changing. And with all this I've got to say that we've all got to stay humble. This the part where shit seems to get real. But, tomorrow is another day. X
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