There is always something wrong or about to fall apart. What's new? Well maybe that's what everyone is trying to find out. And, in some instances that might be fine.
Like right now there is so much speculation over a couple people's lives. And, at this point, I don't really want to know or even care because it's out my hands. It's not even my business anymore especially since it appears that person(s) don't like me.
But, what really gets me is the position that it puts me in. Here is an example, so I have friend A, who is popular in my circle and his. Then I have friend B, who is exclusively my friend. So let's say A and B fight, since I know them both, I should be a friend. But, to who? Everyone is going to say friend A because he is popular. Everyone thinks, he belongs to them; so whether he is right or wrong....he is right. So if he treats me bad then he is right as well. No one stands up for me because I guess I'm not family. But, let friend A step across the line, will see how much of family he is then. I step across the line; dead!! Meanwhile friend B becomes the enemy especially if he is a good friend to me.
So with friend B becoming an enemy every one feels like they have reason to come in my life and bombard me. When it's like, I don't have shit to do with that beef. And, the truth is friend B shouldn't be the one on trial for some shit friend A did. I don't appreciate things like that. I don't appreciate having to choose between friends.
And, none of this wouldn't be happening if people could have stayed in their lanes and lived their own lives. I don't love my friends even less but I hate that when I am in situations like that, I am some how loved less. Now I have people all over my ass from all different directions; "he should be at home; I don't feel safe with him bringing people home", "he is slow", "his brain has turned to mush" and all kinds of stuff. And, I think to myself, it's so convenient how this will play out if you get what you want. Everyone one will have one eye fixed on all my friends steady friends, I'll get fatter before I go and sleep will be needed because I'll be sick more often.
It's these situations that I can win in. The bar is raised so high that this one person can't do it all or process it all. My body and mind are going through changes. I'm in school. Family shit. Friend shit. I'm the true testament that you can be in a world of trouble and never leave your house. There are so many double standards and back stabbers out there. It makes me sick! Fuck! I didn't mean to complain but it drives me nuts.
No comments:
Post a Comment