Now Listen To This

Well, its very hard to take in how you some people feel about you and you’ve never even met them. Word of mouth is a powerful thing and the things that you do that are wrong, they tend to be amplified. And, I’ve wrote about this before but I think this where so many of us mess up; we take intricate things and try to make it a black and white topic. Life is colorful! There are so many shades or possibilities. 

You see a man and a woman. She has been having an affair with another man for one year. The general public finds out about it and the woman is vilified. But, little does everyone know; the husband has been abusive and had several affairs with many woman including her friends. So the woman found love some place else. The sad part is that even after some people learn the truth, the woman will still be seen as this bad person. 

The truth is we all sin or do bad things. And, for the Christians in the building, the bible says, “a sin is a sin”. So that means that there is no sin is greater than another. But, it is us, human beings, who have put degrees on just how bad something is. And, we glorify sin and scandal. Elizabeth Taylor was a Hollywood legend; a great actress. But, most of us only know her from her struggles and marriages. But, she basically help build Amfar and raised millions of dollars in the name of HIV/AIDS and gay people. 

The truth is I am more known for the bad things in my life. If I have a disagreement with my family, don’t do something I was suppose to do, have sex with someone or do anything that isn't angelic……its spread and smeared everywhere. But, for all the good things that I do or the sweet things….you never really hear about them. And, its not just because its me but its because we glorify sin. 

Its for reasons like this that I know something really good and/or really bad is going to happen to me. I feel that the glorification and the emotion is building up. Plus, the whispers that you hear can really paint a picture of your future. And, right now I just feel like I am in between where I have been and where I am going in life. Is my life going to end up in handcuffs, morbid obesity and lack of opportunities or am I going to soar and change that picture. 

In my heart, I believe I know what I need to do. And, I know that there may be opportunities for me. But, like I always say, “You can’t live your life on dreams and possibilities”. I’m not getting any younger, I need some guarantees. And, it’s no disrespect or even a lack of faith that things can get better. What it is, is protecting my heart and the little life that I have left. For so many people, you can make your mark on others (good or bad), go home and rest your head peacefully. But, every decision I (and even decisions that my friends make) not only affects what immediately follows but it affects my future. 

And, its all serious to me because this is my life. This is my future. And, if there is one thing that I know it’s that you have to care about your future. You have to care about your life. If I would have cared a little bit more about mines ten or so years ago, I would be in a much better place then I am right now. Anyway, shit happens, the past is the past. If only every one else felt the same way. Like you can still feel bad about but as long as your moving on and not living in it then its cool. 

In closing, I didn't plan on writing about this topic. But, twice I was put in awkward situations. And, I am not mad about them….maybe sad because of a lack of understanding. Hopefully this wont boil down to an issue of respect. If anything, I respect people, but its hard to respect some people. Its like your kicking me in the face and saying, “Hey, respect me.” And, that kind of tactic is only going to have people fearing you….that’s not respect. And, I have been afraid for too many years. If anything, I think I am getting to an age or a place like, I've been mislead, I’ve misunderstood so many times and I’d rather talk to you face to face then just nod in submission. I’d rather stand up and work with you then under you. Lastly, this blog post is not to throw anybody under the bus. What it is or what I want it to be is, “Okay, you have heard all of this side and seen all of this side…..Now listen to this”. What do you think?