Well, I guess that I am feeling very loving or horny since I think I am going to write yet another post about love orientated stuff. I’m trying to keep it light and sweet if I can. Everything around is so intense and everybody is losing their tact. The language, not just from one or two places, has become very direct. So I guess everybody is reaching their wits end at the same time. And, it takes commitment; you have to be a fed up man with a plan to be like that. Even now as I try to shift my attention elsewhere, I feel myself being drawn in that direction.
The truth is I am tired of all of that. I just need a break from myself; I think we could all use a break or a cease fire. Just gather our collective minds, hearts and spirits. We need to remember that we write our own destines. And, before anyone loses their mind, they should really think in the long term. I know exactly what I would do if I could just get away or if things were just really good. Yesterday reminded me of that; of what I would do.
Yesterday I talked to one of my one nights or day depending on how you look at it. It used to be that I would go online, meet a local guy, hit it off and then just go on a date. It would be great! For one night or day, I got to be normal or at least my version of normal. So I met this guy online in like 2010 or 2011, he picked me up and we just talked. And, it was a real conversation; things about our lives, him growing up abroad and his work. It was just normal.
Even though things were good, for that time, I didn’t hold much hope for the future. I knew that I would be lucky if he lasted a week. But, like most of all things, it was starting to break down. And, somewhere in the days, we just forgot each other. No text message or phone call, there was no fight or big drama; we just faded out of each others lives. He was fun and fantastic. He was bright and funny.
Nights and days like that, may very well be the reason why I am slutty. There is something about having one on one time with somebody; physical or non-physical. Being emotionally naked is the best thing ever. And, then to have a connection with someone, it’s so powerful. If things like that really mattered anymore, life would be different and I wouldn’t be single. These days you have to be so much more and have so much more. Meanwhile, if I had a uterus, I could trap a man. LOL! (just teasing).
That’s what hurts in the love that we lose. We lose a connection. And, I love my friends and I miss so many of them. Oh, to be understood and loved for who I am. It really does make a difference. Which is why I can understand some people around me and their tantrum over a so called lost contact. All of which, I am kind of blamed for of course. But, its not like I even knew this or that would happen. But, it’s like I always say, “your busy watching me but there are two sets of eyes watching you all the time - near and far” and “we make ourselves popular by the deeds that we do. Lastly, you have to watch how you treat people or even what you say. Just today, I made a joke which satire comes from a stereotype about white young men in America. But, nobody is letting it live down.
But, whats the big deal, you guys do it to other people all the time. Talk about doing it to other people in front of me. Like people are shoes or livestock to be bought at an auction. Like teens talking their celebrity crush and get tickets to a concert. So whats the big deal? If it is something so bad then shouldn’t the public know about it so strangers and myself can stay far away from it? But, I guess that’s meant for another blog.
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