Believe Them

When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.

-Maya Angelou

That's the tough thing about giving people second chances. Some people never defer from their scripts. Some people remain type. They don't change even after you give them a chance. 

I've had some life changing and re-arranging experiences in my life recently. I've been trying to incorporate peace into my lifestyle. Trying to live out from under the cloak of fear. And, the sad thing is people think it's stupid when you do stuff like that. Partially because most people know how they can take advantage of you at the same time. The other kind of people think your getting close to hurt them which makes sense as to why they would strike first. 

And, I'm sad because your damned if you try to get close to people who are on the other side of the tracks. And, your damned if you don't. Everyone talks about how they want you to be cool with them and be on their side. But, when you bridge the gap.....they try to tear you down. 

You see....it's a game you can not win. Not because they are better but because people are control freaks; when they don't understand something or feel some strange they go insane. There are all these control freaks and for big men they are so sensitive about every single thing. You can't deal with insecure people. And, if you can't make them feel secure then your shit out of luck. 

And, it's things like this make me doubt my future. Especially when I'm hurt or betrayed by someone who knows me and my life some what well. Today I heard someone say so easily that people convert and that people change over. And, I just wanted to smack him because that's not true, some people are taken. And, to see them taken over is horrible. To see someone you loved, confided in or shared your body with become this stranger is heartbreaking. It is devastating to not only see them change but to come against you.

You really can't replace a friend and you really can't when it comes to me. When it comes to me, I've never really been interested in people my age and every time I love someone they disappear. Most people wouldn't care if you have an influx of new things, your busy and you have other friends but at this point I've got more being taken away from me versus having anything brought into my life. In the end, there will be nothing left.