State Of The Union

It always surprises me what some people don't know these days. It seems that nothing is secret these days so I'm never really surprised when someone knows something about my life or has clues to my past. For ever reason, I've always attracted and been surrounded by noisy people. 

But, it's always shocking what people don't seem to recognize. And, there is a few common things that people don't see but I think the number one thing people don't see is themselves. They don't see the pain or devastation left behind their foot steps. And, even more so I question the morality behind others actions. 

It's made me kind of come to the point where I favor fairness and justice so much that if I do something wrong, I hope that I'm given fair and due process. This is because I'm seeing myself in others eyes, I'm learning more about life and much more. And, I just don't want to love the wrong things. I don't want to do the wrong things because I know about devastation. I know about pain, heartbreak and suffering.

That's something that I have seen in a lot of other people too. It's a lot easier to give someone something that, they have never had. It's a lot easier to use a power if your not on the battlefield and see the devastation. It's easy to sit in your cushy life with all your benefits and options, and to just hand out orders and punishment. If you've never had something to bring you on your hands and knees then you have no idea. If you've never been treated the way that you have treated people then your not going to get it. 

Awakening to yourself is hard in any capacity. If you get the message from someone else, then your most likely going to be ready to shoot the messenger. So many times, I've said to people, this is this, this is what it is. And, it's like no one ever believes me. Everyone has to take it too far or see for themselves. Even though in truth, in a more fair and somewhat natural world we wouldn't have this problem. Some people are just too strong to talk to. They are too crafty to talk to. They are too tricky to talk to. And, because they live this lifestyle, I don't know if they assume everyone is like that. 

But, once again, here in exists a blind spot or where morality fails. The love and the kindness can't be seen. The connect and the road travelled. Some people can't exist with you because they stand on the wrong side of history; the wrong side of your history. A history that they weren't really involved in or could really see. You can't choose love and baby sit the needs of hate. Furthermore, you can't love me correctly when you sit with people who don't necessarily understand  you, know you and hate you. 

To expand on that thought, everybody loves something. We are not made of stone. But, our work and lifestyle kills our hearts. As much as we would like to connect and have sunshine. We just can't connect; what's at stake on both ends is too much. As much we've run and hide so many of theirs have done the same if not only for different reasons. I've tried my hardest to encourage peace and to push forward the idea of a settlement. But, when we give up, that's usually when fate allows. Now they want to impress you but I know what had been will always continue. 

Due to recent events, I havent felt so hopeless and unsure of the future. It's all sooooooo black. I just don't see how there will be an ending or even a happy one. I'm going to need to pray for some enlightenment or patience. It might be time for me to start looking in to my plan b.