That's So Petty

It bothers me that we could give so much power to petty things. It shouldn't matter how much money is in my account or that I go here or there. But, what I think the real issue is, is that the fact that I choose to live my life, unconcerned for others (only because I don't want to bother them) and it could affect others so drastically. And. I don't live as normally as others; I go to the same restaurants, same stores and I'm here at home. 

From the outside looking in; it's easy for other people to say, "We need to bring him down or we need to go ahead and stop him". But, wouldn't the truth be that, "Hey, we need to raise up from this petty existence". Wouldn't it be more honest to say and think that, "When I hurt my home or my community, I hurt myself as well". When you create drama, you create karma. And, it's not even that I am the one or someone I know is going to get you back. It's simply that, you are on the world stage. 

Sometimes I fear for and worry for a lot of the people who work over time on me. Part of me thinks that, can't see that it is a distraction and a dead situation. Even when I'm happy, part of me is still defeated. There is nothing living or even productive going on in my life. Even if I get a little extra cash, it doesn't matter because it's not a constant source. You've won and you can't even see that they way that I'm living is the closest to normal that you will allow. It's not me that won't allow but when you come in here with the meals that you come in with, the friends that you come in with, the rejections from friends and jobs that you come in with....etc. Wouldn't it be natural for me to reach out for love and kindness where I can get it. To find it where real people decide to walk beside me with their hands in front of me instead of with knives behind their back. 

Everyone wants to claim me but how could you really do such a thing. "He is my son or my friend.....yada yada". And, a child or friend is only ever going to belong to someone who actually treats them right. Someone who treats them like they are your own and with love and with respect. Some one who is fair. Now I don't mean to be disrespectful but I know me. I'm never go to accept, trust or roll with any one for long if they give me anything less. I've got nothing but time on my hands. We could go at this for as long as you want. But, I want you all to remember the life, happiness and the freedom you deny yourself when you take a boy and dress him up to be everything that's wrong. I can't control the weather, have no power over life or death, and can't control your bank accounts. But, if I could or ever did, it's simply because by your actions you gave that power to karma or me. 

My God, we've got to do better. We have to start looking at the big picture.