Surrounded

Sometimes it's feels so tight like I can't breathe. Everyone is so interested in information and finding out something. Instead of being forward, which we all make impossible, we wait and we wait. Something that's done most commonly to criminals because underneath it all, we love to catch people in the act. Beyond catching someone in the act, we want it know how to hide the things in our lives that we don't want to see. 

I'm seeing a renewed since of power and assurance in my surroundings. I would almost feel happy for everyone else if I didn't have my doubts. I've seen my surroundings like this for too long. I've seen the abuse of power. I've seen people get away with murder. And, that's why they run during the change of the seasons. 

My heart breaks over it! As if I didn't have enough to deal with in my personal life. Now having to deal with the pressure and  all the rumors the come from the speculations of others. All of it conflicting! Less than a half of it true, a half of it lied and the rest of it doesn't make sense. And, this is why privacy is needed in relationships of all sorts. There is nothing wrong with wanting to know what's going on. But, it's a problem when certain information starts to flow through all sorts of channels because then you get this. You get all kinds of stories and lies. 

I feel like I'm going into manic panic. Who I am to my core what's to run every motherfucker I have a problem with right now and start wrecking shit. I just want to let off the steam; say how I feel. But, I know it won't help. If anything it will make my case, a lot worse. I know this sounds awful but I just wished somebody felt as bad as I do. And, understood what it feels like to be me right now. Nobody, not anybody could know what it feels like to be me right now. 

The ironic thing is that at this very moment, there is something or someone who wants to know for their own purposes. All of which does me no good. But, life goes on! I'm not sure what's next. Yet I know that I better stay calm because the shit has been taken to the next level. Choosing peace is getting harder and harder.