BOOM

Something is wrong! I have got that feeling again. In the immortal words of Samuel L. Jackson, there are some snakes on the motherfucking plane. And, it’s time to clean house. I know a lot of you might think that I am acting out of sheer craziness due to change and the unknown. But, I know something is wrong when mean people start acting nice and nice people start acting mean. And, I can’t help but think that some where, a wrong turn was made. 

Yes, I believe in miracles and that people can start showing their true colors but all at one time. Nah! That shit ain’t right! And, here I come to one of the problems that I see in my own life. The further that you go ahead and spread out in life, you come into the unknown. You start to face variables that you can’t see or know of simply because they are connected to someone or something that you are not that familiar with. 

But, the really big problem with that is that you when you spread out, you live people behind. Some people that really can’t be left alone. Not because they are bad but because you don’t know what bad thing will come up behind them. On the other hand, it can be as awful as it sounds and you don’t know what awful thing someone will do when you turn your head. It’s a horrible thing. 

And, I just have to say it because it’s in my soul to say it but I am tired of dealing with wishy washy, flip flopping ass people. Dealing with people like that just remind me how there really is not much I can salvage in my life. I just want to throw it all away because I can control the weather as much as I can control the hearts and minds of people. I just would rather give folks what they want, to be right where they are. If they are happy, I am happy for them but I don’t want to hold on to them……destroy myself and other people. 

Furthermore, I am really not trying to invite all these distractions around here in to my life. Which is really a big sign that some thing is wrong. The fact that some people could be so comfortable in your life and spreading direction, what seems like my business or your business. OHHHH NOOO!!!! It is time to make a change or cut a new direction because this could go bad really quickly. 

Maybe I am wrong, maybe I should enjoy things the way that they are. The new light outside my bedroom window, the cats in the garage, the weather, the leaky pipes at parking space 16 in the garage, the quiet, my freaky bathroom, the usual bumps and everything. But, the thing is I am coming into the realm of things that I know. Things that have not changed or grown an inch in years but all of the sudden BOOOM! Just an explosion of change and new things all at once. 

I am not paranoid person at this point in time. But, my brain is saying all kinds of things to me. And, I think I need to figure some shit out and get on the ball. Make some changes but like I always say and like I have been saying for so long, it’s the way things go in my life here that makes me feel like giving up. Something so small and insignificant can change or start to break down something that you have worked on for forever. Something that has nothing to do with anything or anybody else; something that could change my life.