From Top to Bottom

Common sense normally suggests that you work from bottom to top; getting little tasks done before you conquer bigger ones. But, in some situations you have to work from top to bottom. Knocking out the biggest task and then easily knocking out the little ones. 

I wish I had the power to settle the big things in my life that are hurting me especially since the big things in my life that I love always seem to be in danger. And, I don't understand the logic or ego that comes along with being so determined. Why put yourself deeper in the hole to only have more things come out in the light. Is what your doing so worth it? I already know someone is financially invested and stands to get a big reward for playing this part. 

Anyway, so I stand up and try to keep myself happy. I try to keep myself sane. And, I try to stay honest and humble. Don't need much help with that last part; you get knocked on your ass enough, you tend to stay honest and humble. And, even though I'm managing to stay out of too much trouble. It just doesn't feel good, it feels as wrong as some of the people I know. And, I have to care about myself. If I saw someone in need, I would give the shirt off my back if it could help. It doesn't really feel good to see even the people who have treated you awful, suffer. 

What would feel good is to see people learning. Not just learning from weaknesses or from spying so they can get someone back. But, learning from the information. Actually looking at what's going on. Knowing that this is wrong and that if it could happen to them, it could happen to your son and everyone he knows. But, if you can't get your own family to see you or get them to see all the people that love their family member then you can't expect to get the rest of the world to. 

It takes a lot to forge a commitment; it's not just about saving your ass or something like that. It takes admiration, love, a sense of right and wrong to keep holding on. And, your enemy knows it better than most that if you can kill the love then you can kill the connection.  So I want to encourage you all to keep on loving each other and hopefully me too. It's the only thing that matters at the end of the day and the only thing that's going to keep you going. 

In closing, the last thing I want to tell you guys is to stay safe, know your shit and be honest. It's so important. These are some crazy days lately. I'm really unsure these days and I'm not happy about it. There are people and things that I'm concerned about; I just want to ask them, "Are you trying to play me?". I don't have time for b.s. But, that's life! I just hope I don't lose myself in the drama.