Dirty Hobo

I don’t feel pretty. And, I dont really care if I look like a bum or a hobo these days. I’m not necessarily sad or depressed. I’m not trying to make a social or politic statement with my looks. I’m just comfortable as I am. Maybe I will shave my face soon. Maybe I won’t. But for now all I want to do is be comfortable. With everything that’s going on, my looks should be the last thing on anyone’s mind. 

In recent years there has been a saying/statement/song lyric in the church that I think everyone should keep in mind. The saying goes or statement goes, “Too cute for the will of God”. With everything that’s going on in the world and around us; you got to be willing to get your hands dirty and lend in a hand. Now when I say get your hands dirty, I don't mean do something evil. But, get involved or something. 

So many people’s world’s have turned up side down. People are getting to a immeasurable level of insane these days. Some people are so powerful and others are in such a rush to utilize that power. Never exactly knowing the devastation, annoyance or life changing thing that they have done. I’ve seen this type of attitude in my family, old friends and people surrounding me. 

These days you have to know your own strength. And, I think a lot of people dont recognize the power that they have or use by their actions. Growing in the church, there was a scripture that I always heard that says, “The power of life and death” is in the tongue. And, I believe that. You can feel all kinds of ways about people but you can’t just inflict your will upon them with just a whim of your feeling. And, you can’t just like them when you do something that you want. 

It’s childish and fiendish to only love or like someone until they do what you want. Yes, I know perspective plays a big part in events. But, maybe its the way that I was raised or lessons that I have learned in my life. But, control issues are bad. There are many things that I have been involved in and I wanted to control the situation because I had a vision. But, there are some things that you can’t control especially with so many people involved. And, sometimes you can only really have a measure on control of something when you care about the topic. 

Even in my life I have seen myself as that central topic and everybody has some idea of who I am, whats best for me and all this junk. I should be doing this or know how to do this. They change or try to change things and don’t know why those things are the way they are. They don’t study, ask or research. They depend on their eyes and word of mouth. Sometimes I wish more people cared about how I feel (physically or emotionally) ,think or at least cared about my physiological needs. How I look is not as important as if I am healthy mentally and physically. 

So when you don’t see me shaved or if I have on hobo clothes. It’s because my mind is on something else. I don’t need to look good for anybody but myself. I’d love to be able to buy the clothes I want and have reasons to look good because I am going to work or I am going on a date with someone I want to impress. But, right now I am okay with looking like a bum; I want to be comfortable while I get my hands dirty working on my health, my life, friendships, family and much more.