Maybe its a matter of perspective or even gender. But, when it comes to things like rape, it is a thin line between having sex and rape. Growing up you see films where the woman becomes absolutely insane and the man grabs her, kisses her, she resists and then melts in his arm. If you’ve been raised anywhere in the world, this might be one your ideals of love. One partner or the woman, always falls in the arms of the man.
Now this is where the concept of rape gets fuzzy and where someone can say that they were raped. So if someone says no but you continue and that person doesn't resist. This person even starts to enjoy the sex that you've had then just because they said no then essentially you’ve raped this person. This is the way that rape is kind of defined these days. Rape is no longer physical abuse, using drugs, tearing clothes, fighting, crying and screaming. Rape is just the word no.
Some of you might hate me for what I am writing or for the references that I am making but I am okay with that. Here is an example of just how crazy that is to me. Have you ever had a friend, partner or kid that was ticklish. You keep tickling them and they say no. That person is laughing and enjoying themselves. But, if they person looks mad, becomes combative or like they are going to cry…..then you stop, right?
So back track a few years ago. I’d been seeing this guy from a distance. He came to my town and we met for the first time at a public place. Then I decide to leave after a while, we went back to my car and we made out. I’m not ashamed to admit and say, “I’m just slutty”. This guy has a beautiful body! This almost tanned olive smooth skin, big chest and this dick that really plumps when you cook it. So am about to make a meal out of him in my car but he says no. And, when he said no, I knew that he meant it. So I stopped, we talked for a little and I said my goodbyes then saw him the next day for lunch.
So fast forward a few years a head. Now I have come to his place. I wanted this man for years; wanted to date him and be serious. But, he never seemed to have got the picture. So were at his house alone, we had a couple drinks but were not drunk. And, I am feeling sexy and seductive; I’ve got on my sexy underwear. Were on the couch laughing and Im in the zone. Then I go in for the kill.
Now here is where things get a little fuzzy. I’m not sure what I did exactly, if I gave him a massage or what. I don’t remember exactly how it started but I remember that I didn’t ravage him. I didn’t hold him down, there was no fighting, kicking or screaming. There was no abuse! What there was though is questions on if I could precede and what I got from him “I dont care” or “I dont mind”. Not exactly the words I was looking for. But we did our thing, well I did my thing to him mostly and if I wasn't doing it right or could do it better…he guided me to where I needed to go.
So we meet again in a few months, this time he is in my town. We laugh and talk all day. I think it was really the best day that I have ever had with him. For most of the day, it was just me and him. We enjoyed dinner with his best friend, his best friends boyfriend and two other guests who were related to the boyfriend. At the end of the night, I had drank so much that he invited me to stay the night with him. The he asked if he could stay the night inside of me. Finally some passion! This time he did all the work and what good work he did.
Fast forward some months, I’ve gone to his house again and come back home. Now I am hearing through the grapevine that he says that I raped him the night that I was at his house. And, I can’t believe this. This doesn’t sound like him. And, its hard to believe that I raped someone who was so compliant and helpful in the bedroom. So after feeling the shame of it all for a while. Finally I asked him about it and he never responds to the message. But, I still keep hearing about this rape business. Now I have had sex a bunch more times afterwards, sex fueled by alcohol and I have not got one complaint.
The case and point of this is…Be careful what you call rape. I’ve got nothing against this guy. I love him because I know he is a good person and he has been very good to me. I’ve apologized to him if he felt that I was rough with him or something because that was not the goal. I wanted to make him feel good. And, when he fucked me, I am sure he had the same goal in mind. But, if we want to go in to a technical case of rape, then the way he fucked me, I should just call that rape because he was aggressive and beat it up. So I think were even if rape is the case. I enjoyed my rape and he enjoyed his.
Excuse me for having such a graphic post. But, I just wanted to set the record straight. I wish I knew what it was about me that had grown people be so ugly and in some cases unprofessional. When it comes to me, I have seen other grown people treat other grown people terribly. Sometimes I feel like how could you be so childish to treat this other adult so badly simply because of a connection to me. Its like were the bloods and crips gangs except will fight someone who is on the same side as us. Its childish! And, its dangerous.
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