No Plans In Sight

There is not much to write about today. Everything seems to be at regular speed. Thats not saying much. Yesterday I had a panic attack because everything seems to be going so slow yet there is so much work to do. And, I feel like there is so much work to do but not enough time to get it all done sometimes. Then my energy level is low because I am not motivated by sight. 

If you’ve ever been a running, then you might like running outside versus using the treadmill. When you run outside, you might not have the stats like your heart rate but your going somewhere. You can see the progress, you know your destination and so much more. Here I am day in and day out, laying in bed, on the computer or on the phone. And, I am thinking to myself is, “God, with this homework, conversation, act of friendship or whatever…I hope I am sowing seeds for my future”. 

And, I know what I want for myself. I know what I want to do for my future. For six years, I have thought about it off and on in my head. And, I know that if I dont reach that goal, I will never really be satisfied. But, like I said in an earlier post; you have to stop looking for something to turn out the way that you want or like. Sometimes you have to alter your dreams and things like that. 

More than what things look like, I feel every second and every minute go by. I feel like I am running out of time. And, I am getting tired of myself bitchin’ and moaning about my life. I just need to get organized and maybe a little more patient. But, I just need some action. I need to get things off of the ground. I need some guarantees and agreements. But, most importantly I need a plan. So fingers crossed!